My name is Kyle and I’m and alcoholic. If only I knew how important that statement would become in my life ten years ago, I could have saved myself from so much destruction and pain.
Since the age of 16 I have used drugs and alcohol regularly – at first to temporarily escape the frustrations and insecurities of adolescence, but eventually I found myself having to use just to get out of bed in the morning. From the second I woke up my whole existence became centered around getting loaded, every thought, every action, every word had the ulterior motive of getting myself as far away from sober as possible. I had been entirely consumed by addiction at the age of 20. Completely oblivious to the agony in and around me, I continued to reach new lows the following years, crossing lines I never imagined I would.
Meanwhile, I had been grievously wounding my family who had done nothing but love and support me unconditionally since birth. Really good people. It started with little lies and manipulations but soon enough however, I was raiding medicine cabinets only to google a medication’s potential of giving me a buzz. The results usually showed that my loved ones were dealing with some serious health issues, but instead of being concerned for their wellbeing, my take away was, “well this won’t do anything for me… Now which way was the label facing again?”
I would regularly find myself thumbing through my mom’s wallet, deciding how much money I could take without her noticing. While recovering from a surgery, she would rely on me to go the store to get us groceries which I would gladly do because that meant that she would give me her debit card which I could use at the ATM on the way back. While sleeping, she would shriek in pain do to the surgery, but even that wasn’t enough for me to not steal her pain medication any chance I could. The other members of my family received equally terrible and dishonest behavior from me.
I always thought myself one of the good guys, someone who would positively impact the lives of those around him. When I reached my 20’s that expectation to live a life of purpose began to deteriorate. I was a drug addict and didn’t care about anything or anyone outside of myself. I betrayed every single moral instilled in me growing up for the pitiful life I had made for myself. Suicidal and depressed, losing job after job, selling my life to pawn shops, stealing, lying, cheating, scamming, you name it I wasn’t above anything when it came to getting a fix. I had become something truly heinous and grotesque, feral. For the first time I hit rock bottom and it hurt. That’s when it happened.
On October 20th 2014 I found out about a program located in Los Angeles, the Liberty House of L&B Recovery Systems. Unaware of what would become of it and nowhere to turn, I packed what was left of my life and headed to the city of angels. The program quickly taught me about integrity and willingness to do the right thing. I would soon uncover many truths about my addiction and how it merely was a side effect of the real problem, me. The program moved to Kentucky in February and I happily followed knowing how truly unique and special this place was.
Today, I wake up excited for the day ahead. I work a great job to pay my own way in sobriety. I have an amazing support group and am surrounded by friends I wouldn’t change for the world. My relationship with my family continues to get better. When my head hits the pillow at night I feel good about myself, knowing that I tried my absolute best to do the right thing that day, knowing I don’t have to spend one more day feeling like I used to. Thanks to L&B Recovery, Liberty House and the Liberty Ranch I have my life back and a future to look forward to – for this I will be forever grateful.
If you or a loved one is in the grips of addiction please know that there is help and authentic happiness is in reach.
My name is Reid I am 28 years old and I am an alcoholic. I am originally from Northern California, and a little over three years ago my life was in shambles. By the time I turned 25 years old I had managed to rack up 3 DUIs, waste thousands of dollars on two different colleges, ruin countless relationships and friendships, create wreckage everywhere I went, take advantage of and destroy my parents trust, and still have the audacity to think that I didn’t have even a little problem with drugs and alcohol. After my 3rd DUI my parents had finally had enough and sent me to a 30 day treatment center. While I was there they began speaking with the managers at Liberty House in Los Angeles.
The week before I was supposed to be released from treatment my parents came to Family Day and told me that I couldn’t come home, that when I got out I could either go to LA and continue to get help at Liberty House or I could try and figure it out on my own. Well obviously I didn’t like that very much and I told my parents that I would like them to leave and how dare they make a decision about my life without me and not leave me a choice and on and on. Before she left my Mom gave me the number to one of the managers and told me she hoped I would make the call.
I called, and on November 12, 2012 I entered Liberty House. The house was nothing like I had expected and I learned things about myself that I never knew. I learned integrity and how to live life on life’s terms and how to be held accountable and take responsibility. Things I had never done before in my life.
At 90 days sober and with less than two months in the house I deployed to Afghanistan. On the way over we stopped in Turkey and for the first time in my entire life I told the people I was with that I didn’t drink. I don’t know why this time I said that or what gave me that ounce of integrity the only explanation I have is my Higher Power looking out for me and the tools I had picked up in those short two months at Liberty House had stuck.
While in Afghanistan I continued to stay in contact with the house through email and with my sponsor via Skype. After my deployment I came back to the house and continued my recovery. I was in the house a total of 11 months and graduated on December 21st, 2013.
I am forever grateful for my parents for closing the door and for giving me the opportunity to do something different for once in my life. As of October 14, 2015 I am 3 years sober and have the honor and privilege of working for Liberty House and giving back to the residents what was given to me. I have a relationship with my parents today, I am an older brother to my sister, and I have real relationships with people and I don’t take the people in my life for granted. I believe wholeheartedly that everything happens for a reason and that I was given the opportunity to come into the house at exactly the right time.
My name is Jessica and I’m an alcoholic. I was born in Louisville, Kentucky 21 years ago. I started using drugs when I was only 12 years old. At first I thought it was fun smoking pot and running the streets with my older friends. I would sneak out all of the time and if I was lucky I would return home unnoticed but most nights returning home consisted of a cop car and a knock on my mom’s door at 4:00 am.
My parents started getting worried and sent me to rehab for six weeks. I took it as a joke. I didn’t want sobriety but I completed the program with ease not knowing the next 7 years of my life would entail more pain, more agony, and of course more rehabs.
As I got older the world of drugs and alcohol excited me. I tried anything and everything still thinking it was all fun and games until I found myself at 20 years old addicted. From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep my entire focus was on how I could get more. More, more and more those thoughts consumed me.
There was no waking up and going to sleep anymore, it was coming to and nodding out. I didn’t care about anything or anyone. Morals, integrity, honesty, and values those words were foreign in every way possible. Everything I said I would never do was now unfolding before my eyes.
I was depressed and withdrawn. People were scary, life was scary I just wanted people to leave me alone so they couldn’t see how bad it really was. I would look in the mirror and not even recognize myself. My eyes were black and my face was hollow and picked out. I was constantly sick. I lost every job I had and anything worth value was sitting on the shelf at the local pawn shop. The fun was over. I couldn’t do it anymore.
On December 7th, 2014 I entered the Liberty Ranch for Women and for the first time in my life I had hope for a better future. The Ranch molded me in to a person I never thought I could be.
Today I have a chance. I have an amazing support group of friends and family. I have the tools and knowledge of the 12 steps of AA and how to apply them in to my life. The Ranch pushed me to my limits and showed me I was capable of so much more. I will forever be grateful for the place that saved my life. Today I have faith in myself and I have friends, family, and God to help me through it. Today I am truly free.
This picture is of me and my mom. Because of The Liberty Ranch she got her daughter back.
My name is Ryan and I’m an alcoholic. If I had heard that statement 10 years ago my mind would have conjured up an image of a gutter drunk inhabiting an alley on skid row with a paper bag crinkled tightly around some cheap liquor bottle. But my own story is far removed from that. I grew up in Los Angeles CA with two parents who provided every opportunity for me to succeed. I attended a private college prep school where I excelled both in academics and in sports.
On the outside everything looked normal, but inside I was terrified of life, of disappointing my parents, my friends and myself. Fear ruled every aspect of my life and affected every decision I made. So when drugs and alcohol came into the picture at 13 years of age, I readily jumped at the chance for some relief and the temporary escape these substances provided.
I first went to rehab for 30 days at 16 years old for the first time because school and sports were replaced by alcohol and drugs. My parents didn’t know what else to do. I faked my way through it still in denial about having any kind of addiction problem. Of course my problem became worse and the goals I set for myself of a career in finance disintegrated. My life was in complete shambles and I didn’t care because I had the comfort of inebriation.
Countless rehabs later I was finally sick of the life I was living surrounding drugs. I was tired of the stagnation, the pain my grandfather was in when he gave me the last of his pain pills because he didn’t want to see me suffer, the abysmal feeling of disconnect from every member of the human race that permeated my every interaction. I knew I needed help. Real help, not just a 30 day touch up that seems to be so common in the addiction community currently.
I knew about L&B Recovery having attended the Los Angeles house at 19 years old. It was the only place I had been that ever helped me string together any sobriety time. I had managed to achieve 13 months free from addiction, but stopped doing what I was taught and endured 5 more years of pain.
I called the Liberty Ranch in Kentucky and was on a plane that night, ready and willing to turn my life around. And that is exactly what the Ranch has helped me do. I’ve learned how to deal with the insecurities that have plagued me for so long, what it truly means to be honest, that immediate gratification is hollow and it’s more rewarding to make decisions for the long haul.
I’ve learned to get in touch with who I really am beneath my personality attributes, how to be a human being who can live in harmony with other human beings and really care about them, not just what I can take from them. Thanks to the Ranch I can experience for the first time what Liberty actually means: Freedom from Bondage.
My name is Andrea and I’m an alcoholic. I am twenty five years old and I grew up in Mason, Ohio. My childhood was great. My family loved me and I did well in school. At the age of fourteen I started rebelling out against my parents by skipping school, sneaking out, and going to parties on the weekends to hang out with the older kids. I thought that was what every person my age did.
I was really curious as to what different kinds of drugs were out there and how they would make me feel. I had no idea what addiction or alcoholism was. I headed face first into my addiction starting with hard drugs. I remember learning about drugs and the effects of alcoholism in school. However, I had my own perception of what a heroin and crack addict was and at that time I thought that could never be me.
Throughout high school I was able to stay under the radar; it was after school where I got myself into trouble. One of my parent’s worst fears was getting a call from the police. Through my addiction I turned their fear into reality.
I was strung out, beaten down, and depressed. I saw my life going nowhere fast. I continued getting high because that was all I had known. After my third overdose, in and out of jail, and losing everything including my sanity, I reached out again for help. I had tried to get sober numerous times before and failed.
On October 24, 2014 I walked through the doors at the Liberty Ranch. The Ranch taught me a new way of life. I learned how to care about myself, as well as others, how to work an AA 12 step
program in to my daily life and how to integrate spiritual principles on a regular basis. Today I finally feel that I can live a successful life clean and sober. I am truly blessed to say that I got the opportunity to save my life at the Liberty Ranch.
My name is Chris M and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is August 31, 2013, I am a few weeks shy of having, for the first time in my addiction, one year (at time written) clean and sober. This seems unreal to me, and unthinkable to me before coming to the Ranch. I owe the last eleven months sober to the Ranch, staff & peers, for helping guide & teach me to get me to where I am today. I wrote a blog about four months ago expressing my gratitude for the life I have today, and now I can only express that and even more gratitude for where I am today. I have a full time job, which I started as a temp when I first entered the house, and now ten months later, I am a full time employee, with full benefits (which I’ve never had before) and vacation hours I’ve earned, and most importantly an honest paycheck to be able to pay my bills and support myself with. Lately I’ve been able to help others in ways I never could have before getting clean. Going out of my way to help someone and not “EXPECT” something in return. I have the ability to be of service and to set a good example for others, that they too, one day will be able to achieve and maintain long term sobriety. It’s been possible for me to do so with the 12 steps of AA (me being on step 10 now) and making surrenders & follow direction, that I am able to do those things today. So before you convince yourself that this way of life is too hard & too much work, think again, don’t sell yourself short with that outlook on it, because if I can do it, anyone can do it. All that you have to do is have an ounce of willingness, and the rest will work out in ways you may never see or be able to explain.